It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
