nut hugger
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
