my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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