Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
