I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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