curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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