I bet he comes in French.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize