just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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