Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
