you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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