Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
whose ass print is on the piano?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
