wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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