so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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