please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
