"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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