found the other keg... it's in the tree
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
