We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
