What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
God, I missed his penis.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
