Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
ok first of all what the fuck
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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