she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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