Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
