I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
