I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
