sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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