so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize