the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
