Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
