Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
