the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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