ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
