Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
