I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
MIDGETS
????
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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