Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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