I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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