I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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