just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize