from now on my penis is your penis
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
