Come see our sink grown plant.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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