No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
