yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
