either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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