I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
