Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
