i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
