I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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