I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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