There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
