you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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