Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
