you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
