Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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