Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
