You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
