is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
