I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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