I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
