I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Randomize
