just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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