I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
