Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So squirting runs in the family.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
