Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
