i permit you to call me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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