just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
MIDGETS
????
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
