i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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