when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
